Tears and Healing was written "in the furnace" of my own abusive relationship. That was now a long time ago, and since then I've spent a lot of time and effort writing about abusive relationships and consulting in person with people struggling to escape from them. That work has led to new understanding, and to new perspectives on the subjects covered in the original Tears and Healing. This new understanding and perspective is collected in Tears and Healing Reflections.

Like its predecessor, Tears and Healing Reflections is a collection of independent essays. It includes my latest thinking on the overlap between borderline personality disorder and narcissism, in The Narcissist/Borderline Spectrum. I also explain my latest perspectives on the basic psychological dynamic that causes the behaviors we see with these disorders. Building from that, several essays deal with holidays, and why holidays are so difficult, and why our disordered partners and family members always seem to lose it around holidays. I reflect on 9/11, and how the losses in our own lives make that anniversary a particularly difficult one for us.

For the first time, I give my basic definition of "What is Abuse?"  The book also includes new essays on Living with an Alcoholic, and what that means; Living with a Narcissist, and how to recognize that; Living with a Borderline; and what that means. I offer my own practical definitions to identify the three abusive personality disorders: borderline, narcissistic, and sociopathic (aka antisocial). These definitions are simpler and identify more uniquely what disorder may be causing abusive behavior.  I describe the paradox of abusive behavior, and why we so often fail to understand a disordered partner though we try and try. I address codependence, what it means and what you should think about it, especially if you think you "have" codependence. I give an updated library list of all the books and resourses that I've read or drawn from in my own recovery and my subsequent writing.

And finally, Tears and Healing Reflections lives up to its title, including a number of sections where I offer my more current reflections on sections from the original Tears and Healing. Many of the sections in that book are short, and often my reflections on these sections are longer than the original essay. The originals were written mostly in the moment, and with time I've gained new insight and knowledge that allows me to elaborate on those original messages, and in some cases offer even broader insight.

All told, Tears and Healing Reflections offers a rich spectrum of insight and guidance; a collection that surprised even me in its impact when I first assembled it. I've you've read and liked Tears and Healing , and still feel you're learning and changing, then Tears and Healing Reflections is sure to offer you new insights and inspiration in your journey.

Richard Skerritt, author of Tears and Healing