I just started reading Richard's
book, Tears and Healing. It is excellent. Over the years I have
been in and out of the mental health offices of many professionals.
I kept wanting to know how to get beyond the hurt, the heart over-ruling
my head...how to say enough is enough. As I started reading the
pages of this book...for the first time I felt a weight being lifted
off of me. Those mental health people hadn't lived with someone
with a personality disorder. They couldn't identify with me. So...here's
to you Richard. Your book is excellent and I recommend it to anyone
who wants to get off this merry-go-round and to start healing their
Reviewer: Lynn from Massachusetts
I wanted to let you know how much
I have appreciated your book, Tears and Healing. It is written with
such insight, reflection, and courage. Once I started reading it,
I couldn't put it down- I just received it Thursday afternoon, and
was finished with it by Friday morning. My close friend has been
trying to "tough it out" with his BPD (borderline personality disorder)
wife until the kids are grown. Your book has shed so much light
on her condition, the way he has been treated, and the way he has
been coping. It also shows that there can be light at the end of
the tunnel, if he lets himself listen to his Soul's messages to
After reading your book, and seeing
that you were able to start a new life away from the stress and
abuse of your marriage, my heart feels lighter. My spirit knows
what kind of positive intention to hold for my friend- that he listen
to his Soul's messages. Again, thank you for the candor, wisdom,
and openness of your beautiful and empowering book. I know that
many lives have been and are going to be touched, healed, and inspired
because of it.
I originally hesitated to buy your
book, because I thought it was geared to those ready to leave their
borderline (personality disorder) partner. I think I feared being
influenced to leave when I wasn't ready, a sure sign of my shaky
boundaries. But I bought it, read it and feel I have benefited tremendously.
A wet noodle, such as I, needed to hear it laid out plain: you're
being abused and this is what happens to your psyche while you're
being abused!. As a result of reading your book, other boundaries
books, and my support group, that little washed out me is starting
to stand up. I am working toward becoming the person I want to be
in OR out of this relationship. There has been no miracle here,
just a firmer awareness that I can teach him how I want to be treated.
If he can't accept the stronger me, then so be it. At least I will
know I have done everything I could to stay healthy while staying
with my borderline husband. Thank you for writing your book, Richard.
It is empathic and inspiring.
I received your book on Friday. I
began reading and finished it Saturday. It was absolutely wonderful!
My husband and I are both dedicated Christians. I have been abused
for over 23 years of the marriage but I was "committed" and "obligated"
due to religious reasons as you addressed. Finally, I heard on a
Christian radio station that if sex between a couple was not mutual
then it wasn't right. I thought I had been the "submissive" dutiful
Christian wife, but I had not had anyone to talk to and so did not
know. I began seeing a therapist who was great and validated my
feelings. She was a Christian, too. I found out that my husband
had a personality disorder. After gallons of tears over the years
- like you, I tear up over simple things, music, the National Anthem,
tender things - I finally became strong enough to see an attorney.
I filed for divorce in May of this year. I am now seeing another
therapist (a Christian, too) who is supportive as well.
I know it will take a lot of time to heal. I have begun, but
true healing will only begin when I can finally be totally away
from him. Thank you so much for your book. I have highlighted so
many of the pages. And I will be reading them over and over again.
Richard, Gratefully, I found
your book using a search for Al-Anon. I have done extensive forms
of inner-work and am intimately familiar with 12-step recovery programs. Yet,
I have found myself experiencing feelings in my current, soon to
be past, relationship that I have not been able to understand or
reference.The excerpts from your book, unlike most, reached out
and grabbed a part of my soul that is searching for answers and understanding.The
depth, as well as the honesty, with which you address the issues
and feelings of living in an abusive relationship spoke to me in
a way I haven't heard in a while.What I appreciated the most is
the level of responsibility you encourage your reader to take in
the journey of healing.Thank you for that.Amidst the anger and the
anxiety, I hear the calling to learn more and love myself on a much
deeper level than I have in the 13 years I have been on the path
to wholeness.Thank you for your resonating messages of truth and
wisdom, support and care.